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CLARE'S STORY: Running Away From Home

Updated: Nov 15, 2023

How God healed heartache through dream

In 1992, after 13 years as a Solo Mum, and with the blessing of my grown-up family, I moved from Dunedin to Wellington to take up a position on the National Board of a Christian Women’s Organisation. We all agreed that this was something the Lord wanted me to do. In the process of this, I left my 18-year-old daughter in charge of our family home in Dunedin. She got some flatmates in and also had support from her married brother living in Dunedin, as well as her older sister who returned briefly to the city at that time.

Everything was sorted and I “ran away from home” - which is not what mothers usually do.

The next few years for me in Wellington were exciting, challenging and full of God-adventures but I did struggle with “homesickness”, especially in the early years. But, because this was something that I was doing “for the Lord,” I told myself that it was “OK.”

However, even though I loved living where I was in Lower Hutt, and in spite of having much prayer ministry from Christian friends and my church, there always remained an ache in my heart whenever I thought of “home.” I had been living in Lower Hutt for about 9 years before my Heavenly Father finally put His finger on that ache using a dream.

In this dream, I was back in our old house in Dunedin with my 18-year-old daughter in her bedroom. I was holding a small baby wrapped in a shawl. It was my baby. Suddenly, I handed the baby to my daughter and left the room and “waltzed off” to Wellington.

As I woke the Holy Spirit showed me the meaning of the dream. It seems that deep down inside I had felt that I had left my daughter HOLDING THE BABY when I had gone away all those years ago, leaving her with the responsibility of our house while I went off to enjoy my new life and ministry which God had called me to. The ache I had felt for so long was the result of feeling guilty for what I had done.

I contacted my daughter at once to share the dream with her and to ask her forgiveness. She was herself married and a mother by now. She reassured me that she had not felt that way and although the house had been quite a responsibility at the time she too had looked upon the whole thing as an adventure. God had done some special things in her life during this time too. And of course, she forgave me. The ache was gone. I had believed a lie but now the guilt I’d felt as a result was gone. Thank you, Lord!

Dreams are not the usual way He speaks to me. Usually, I just get one word, like a “Word of Knowledge.” Occasionally, it will come as a short sentence of instruction, sometimes in an almost audible voice. Other times a Scripture will leap out of the page. One way or another, He manages to get his meaning across when my spirit is attentive and my heart is obedient and willing. I do not know why the Lord waited nine years before sorting me out regarding my heartache. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention so He used a dream to get through to me, but I know that his timing is always perfect.



Want to learn more about the different ways that God can speak to us?

12 Ways In 12 Days is a unique devotional that explores twelve different ways God shared the good news that his Son, Jesus, had come to save the world. Click on the image to find out more.


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